Hi hello everybody!

I'm swedish yeah, but sometimes I just like to write at english it feels mora natruall don't ask me why it just does..

So here's my story..

My life is pretty fuckedup. My mother are selfish also my sister is and my father too and he's in jail.

My mother said not too long ago that I was strange and just so fuckedup! I began to feel down when she said that.

Isn't it the meaning that your mother are going to cheer you up? Make you be happy with yourself? Well at least that's what I always been hearing.

She's a selfish whore. You might not believe me well then don't. But I think she is.

When I first moved here she Promised me that I could be childish again that I could do how and whatever I wanted.. Almost. But sure as I thought it was just a joke something she wanted. Nothing she really was going to keep.

I've learn how to cook how to clean and pretty much stuff.I've also learn to observe things pretty good.

Well no I cannot say that I'm better than everyone else no. I can't but seriously it have to be something with me.. i mean.. Like.. My mother said that once that she couldn't get my thoughts or anything of me!

Well okay bitch so what? I am the fucking one that I am!

I can't care less than I do about her yeah I care about people a lot! But I doesn't hate anyone more than my family and that's not how it should be now is it?

I mena everyone keeps on talking about oh yeah it's in sweden and in sweden everythings just fiine!

Sure really.. No. Same thing with people who says that Life is the most important thing you ever could have. It's not because what would your life be if you had no friend at all? If the word friendly didn't exist? Well I tell ya nothing! Because then we couldn't make a deal with each other we couldn't do anything, we would just be lonly and go mad because of it! So if you have friends you have a life worth living for no matter what all you need is your friends because they are the real reason which makes you go on. i have nothing to really say.

Because I'm just a bullied girl which live in lonlyness and before I go totally mad I want people to know about it. About my thoughts and my will. Becuase I think that my thoughts and style is different to others, I think my way is different. No matter what other people think. This is me and this is what I think.

And no I won't name my own name because I don't feel to. Maybe sometime but not yet.

So this thing about mumie. It's like crazy, she told me how proud she were because SHE made me This strong!?

I'm just sitting beside her quiet and thinking like 'oh yeah you think That's the way it is bitch? What the fuck did you REALLY learn me? Oh yeah that's right! NOTHING! Not a shit! Still she's sitting there all proud and everything..

It was not her, it was dadie which half raped me and totured me in some way it was school who did almost not care school who bullied me as hell, and That bitch think that SHE did?? Oh haha That's just fuckedup!

Sure dad hit me he screamed at me and did things which I wont name this time. But sure he did but I did never Ever have ANY thought of killing myself about then no matter what he'd done.. But here I feel like dead all the time and like I just wanna kill myself Right now! But I can't.. I cannot even cut myself.. Because as fast as I put the sharp knife to my skin there's something else holding it back and the more I try to push the more it tries to stop me. That's why I need to feel this incredible pain.. Sure people had it worse than me but so what? I think the pain I've got is enough whatever happens I cannot feel worse than this not be worse than this. Everything which happen happens with a reason and do you know why? because that's just the way it is. If people didn't have an reason why would they do anything at all then? Would they just walk to an cinema without reason? Would they just hit someone just because? Haha well I don't think so!

I'm not emo and I'm not popular either. I'm something.. Just something special.. And I hope you'll find this and me intresting because as I said THIS is My story! And I don't care what you think because the story's mine and mine only..

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