Todau is a new day. It's said that a new day should be better isn't it?

Well I don't really know about that.. Anyway my mornings always the same, wake up by the light wonder how much the clock is open the computer to look.

After that depending on how much the clock is depending on that .. Well I would hurry if the clock where seven

because I'm always going off to school 15 mins over seven, but if it would be around six then I could even rest a little, then I would chill.

See the pic? It's beautiful isn't it.. Well at least I think so, I found it as a video at youtube well it's actually a song named; ''Nightcore - Lion''

It's really beautiful she sings about that a lion are an angel even if you would say that a lion are really dangerous..

Or at least something like that.. 

I always find new songs with nightcore which both I and other people seems to like, so that's good I guess.. And that reminds me of which my uncle said.. He said I wroted like.. beautiful? Well something like that and I was just like oh yeah? Uhm.. is that TRUE? Well... is it.. Strange..? Haha well anyway I wish I had this pic like on my wall because I would just watch it for like hours. I'm reading a book where a girl are stuck for a potrait of a girl where you just can see the back of the girl and a temple behind her and the woman says that the background or the whole pic are changing all the time, the ones who had read all the books of stepehen King should know which one I'm talking about, well for everyone who don't I'm talking about ''Rasande Rose' Is the Swedish name of the book. A great one, well anyway I think I would get just the same feeling but of this, a different picture.

Oh well here the song for those who wanna hear the song maybe well hope ypu'll enjoy it:)

So there ya go, There a one thing I would like to do now.. That is to walk in a big wonderful anf so amazingly beautiful forest talking to myself and just like 'play' a little scene for myself. Well I just guees, I'm pretty okay at acting like theather or like something like that well one of my teachers in the eight grade I think he wanted me to go and play NO matter What! Because he thought I where that great.. Well I don't know I just know that I'm good at express feelings and I enjoy it really.. It is kinda fun, and something else I wanna do is to begin to shoot with a bow and arrow.. I think that would be really amazing don't you guys? Well however I'm about to go on the lession and actually do some shit today haha well anyway se ya'll! Hope your life turns out good hugs <3

The whole world feel like turned upside down... dunno what to do dunno what to think...

Get thiz hell out of my head, please!

Thiz is a fucking beautiful song with Adept<3

I am at my grandfathers house right now.. I'm just wondering.. How life could turn out this way..

How everything could get this complicated..

It almost feels like I'm insane, the boy Björn are beginning to feel like a fading memory.

Only difference is that I Know that he's not a memory like that, only I KNOW what happen between ous, only I KNOW every thought, every feeling exactly everything is true. Nothing was unreal.

he and I always used to talk so much.. Actually we talked for hours before and after his trainings when he studied and late late into the night until he said he needed to sleep or until I got so tired so that I couldn't manage to stay awake.. No matter how much I tried..

But even if he got disappointed that I couldn't stay awake he accepted it and said it didn't matter..

That's something about him that I adore, he's a real angel he's really fantastic.

Even if he never would listen when I told him that, even if he never wanted to realize that when I said something like that to him.. I think that he realized it a little.. Or so I hope. I've hoped much latley.. And I've been thinking more than ever lately too. Nothing is really clear to me anymore.. he helped me to see things clear and right, he always helped me he did. But I guess that you cannot always relay something on others now can you? I don't think so..

I asked him about one thing my mother haha she, or we could say she laughed right in my face didn't believe it and so I begun to think that maybe. Maybe it isn't true maybe it just was mu imagination.. But no I knew what I've seen but it all felt like an fading memory.. And so I told him, I told Björn. He said he knew how it was like.. Like it never even happen.. Like you got it up all by yourself..

Things have gotten so complicated and I tell myself over and over that I'm so sad because now I cannot follow them to their house this summer.. And Marie will be so sad.. But then I realized.. That was not it.

Why I was sad was because I screwed an WONDERFUL angel.

He would be my everything. He was amazing he truly was. In the end I tried to tell him how much I liked him.. Everything.. He didn't respond, and I can understand whyy.. But instead my old best friend said that she've seen it.. That she NEVER wanted me to write something like that to him EVER again.. Sure. It's true. It was rude of me, it was totally stupid. But I was only being honest. Sure I wanted a respond of him but did I get that? No. I never did.. I did so much more than Linn, my old friend.at least that's my opinion. But when I realized, that I was only helping her and hurting myself as hell and also Björn.. Then I stoped. Because I realized how much He HATED that.

He and I only talked ifwe really needed to, but then it got different. Then we talked every day, about everything.

I asked him why doesn't you talk with Linn like you do with me? He said it was because he loved her so much.. That he didn't wanna worrie her or something like that he said. But in some way I couldn't believe that, even if I accepted it.

Because it was the wrong answer.. He couldn't talk with her like with me because her respond always got wrong and my didn't. There were always some excuse why he cared, why he did the things he did.. But I know more about him, about many people actually. And it's easy, it's an question about you and you being. If I would listen to people, no one would tell about their life like they do to me.

I loved him and I still do I always thought endless about him because he saw me from the beginning. And that's rare! People don't see me no matter where I am no matter what I do.. If I want people to see me I had to change because I don't wanna be someone else I wanna be Ronja. I wanna be me and me myself. And I don't want anyone to change that. I was beginning liking this boy early.. We did not even know each other for long. And I tried and tried. I tried to not love him, I tried to have none but friendfeelings.

But it didn't work for verry long I tried to keep it up, I tried to not like him I tried to think he wasn't sexy at all! He wasn't that kind. He was actually a jerk. He was stupid and strange.. He was a totally idiot. And a idiot I Never would like! But I knew that all that would be lies. I loved him like hell, no matter how much I tried to not love him.. I just kept on getting stronger and stronger feelings for him.. And in the end I couldn't stand it!

I realized that I loved him more than Anything else in the hole world. I always thought about him no matter how much I tried to not do so. No matter what I did I just begun to think about him more and More and MORE for every fucking second!! and still even though I don't talk with him I long for him and I just think about him ALL the time.. I can't stop.. It's not bearable.. I miss him so and I'm feeling down all the time but I try to smile.. But all memories all thoughts are about him and him only. And I can tell ya guys.. I have NEVER been in love like this...