My whole world has been turned down.

I just wanna die, yesterday night I had been quiet talked to no one, just answered those who talked to me.

For three days I said nothing to Björn..

For three days and yesterday night I tried to talk to him.. after a while like 30-40 minutes after I sent him the message he answered and said he would keep away until I solved the problem with mu so called 'best friend'

well I didn't wanna solve it this time I didn't wanna do anything! I always did I always forgot everything always said 'it's okay it doesn't matter..' and stuff like that I Always forgave them everyone whoever it where.. But I'm tired of that shit now!

So I cried as hell I scratched my face my arms and wanted to scream outloud like crazy but kept quiet kept scratching myself over and over again my tears ran like a fast waterfall until I couldn't breath properly.

My head adn heart hurt really bad right now I just wanna die, but somethings strange and wrong with me I mean it it really IS!

Before if I scratched someone just a little they could begin to bleed so easily even if I didn't mean to harm them.. But when I am TRYING to make myself bleed it barley gets a scratch..

But however it will go I just feel dead and like a walking ghost right now.. LIke nothing exist in my world, I just wanna disappear I just wanna get to sleep so I don't need to think so I could relax for onece and so I wouldn't need those voices..